It's striking how two people can be looking at the same sunrise and have two different experiences. One person, in awe of the beauty, feels joy and contentment. And the person right next to her, still angry about someone cutting her off in the parking lot, is unable to even focus on the sunrise. People are different. They're born with different temperaments, they go through different experiences, traumatic experiences, childhood pain, have to contend with outside pressures and have different situations. But some of what's different between these two people is whether they've built up the skills and experiences that help us be more content and positive. The good news? Our brains are like muscles -- they can be adapted and strengthened until the day we die.
In the last several years, there's developed a science of happiness and neurobiology, based on scientific research that includes brain imagining. It is a hopeful science -- informing us that "neurons that fire together, wire together." In other words, when we think, act (or feel) the same things over and over we develop brain habits. In other words, when we practice a way of thinking or focus on certain things, we build that muscle. And some of the research points to some very simple things we can practice that can help a person develop strength in being more content and positive, and be more able to manage stress and adversity.
If these are practices you already do, great. If they're not, they take some time, just like any other kind of new habit, but here are a few: Gratitude. Noticing the simple, even small things that you are grateful for every day can shift your state over time. And even more powerfully, thanking someone in person for even a small thing they bring to the world has a powerful positive impact on your experience. Exercise. Easier said than done, but even 20 minutes most days of aerobic exercise that you've planned and accomplished can be one of the most powerful change agents in your life. But you've got to stick with it at least a month before you judge the results. Study after study shows exercise is potentially just as powerful as psychiatric medications to help manage distress. Social Support. If you have a social network, even of two or three friends and family that you trust, this is a powerful protector for us. It's tough when you feel alone or not connected, and not easy to build a network if you're feeling down. But even a little bit more connection through a spiritual community, neighborhood, interest, sports team, or any other resource can be a positive step toward health. And even though our brains are prone to notice stress and things going wrong, go out of your way to notice what is going right. What you did right today, what your kids did right, what went well despite everything else. By doing that you change your brain chemistry, but you also develop the habit of noticing differently.
